


Just Please, Don't Ask For It Back

by CrochetingWords



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, Hate to Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, huge misunderstanding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 05:54:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14254413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrochetingWords/pseuds/CrochetingWords
Summary: What if Even does make a movie about Isak after they’ve only met once? What if Isak sees it and everything goes completely wrong?A hate to love AU.





	Just Please, Don't Ask For It Back

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been playing around with this idea in my head for a while and finally decided to write it down.  
> The updates for this story are probably going to be slower than for my previous fics just because of how long it took me to write and revise the first chapter.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> A/N: Hey, so as you may have noticed, this fic is on hold right now. I had a bit of a rough time and wasn’t able to update for quite some time and to be honest I fell out of love with these characters a bit. But I hate leaving a story unfinished so I will do my best to rewatch SKAM this summer and read some fics to remind myself of how much these characters meant to me in the first place and hopefully pick this story up again. I do have a rough outline of how I want this story to continue so I would like to pick up from there. I don’t know exactly when I will continue again but I’m aiming for before fall. I’m sorry to those who were looking forward to updates but I wanted to let you know that I haven’t completely abandoned it. I hope you all have a lovely summer <3

It’s already 10:00 when he finally gets in line for that coffee he has been craving since 07:00.

Why had it taken him so long?

Well, first of all Eskild broke their coffee maker. Eight. Long. Days. Ago. And has yet to get around to replacing it. Something Isak would do himself, but he’s been tight on money since his dad had forgotten to transfer enough to cover this month’s rent before he left for his honeymoon to Greece with wife number two. Where, apparently, cell reception isn’t a thing, as he has yet to respond to any of Isak’s texts since he left.

Luckily he has enough in his savings to cover it, but that barely leaves enough for even half a month’s worth of groceries. He had to go through all his jacket pockets, look under the bed, and check the couches for enough change to justify this pit stop.

The second reason is his 08:00 class which, only two weeks into the first semester, he already regrets taking thanks to the instructor. He really should have checked his rate my prof page before enrolling, because he assigns homework and papers like it is the only class anyone is taking and does not tolerate lateness. So walking in ten minutes late with a cup of coffee in his hand simply isn’t an option. No matter how desperate he is.

Now here he is, finally, mere moments away from pure heaven.

Only to find out he’s short when he gets to the counter. No, that can’t be it, he counted it twice. Did he leave a coin behind somewhere?

“Here, I got it.” A boy with striking blue eyes, eyes that Isak immediately recognizes, says from behind him, where he stands surrounded by a group of guys. And before Isak can think to protest, the boy is already reaching past him to drop a couple of coins on the counter.

The blonde had caught Isak’s eye a few times around campus. Well, more than a few times. He was always hanging out with that same group of friends, a radiant smile on his face. Except for those days when he stood there staring at his feet looking sleepworn and all Isak wanted to do was walk over and give him a hug. To tell him everything would be okay. But he never did, he only ever admired him from afar, lacking the courage to do anything else.

“Uhh it’s okay don’t worry” he stammers, his face growing hot, ready to bolt for the door. Just his luck that their first ever encounter would be this one.

“Honestly it’s no trouble.” The blonde shrugs with a smile that Isak would revel in if he wasn’t currently looking for anywhere else to hide.

“Seriously, it would be cruel to deprive anyone from their daily dose of caffeine. And it looks like you really need it.” Ouch.

“Umm thanks” Isak ducks his head, further embarrassed, if that’s even possible at this point. What he sees is a cute boy, and to his disappointment, all the cute boy sees is a charity case.

“No wait- that didn’t come out right.” The blonde starts but all Isak wants to do is get away from the prying eyes of the group of guys next to him. All openly staring at him.

“Just black, please” Isak says to the girl behind the counter. Stopping to say one more quick thank you to the blonde and then he’s already rushing over to the pickup counter before the blonde can say anything else to him. He just has to wait for his coffee, keep his head down, and make it out of those doors.

Except that is where it all goes horribly wrong. Too focused on his feet, he’s not looking where he’s going when he turns around and next thing he knows he’s colliding with a firm chest, the hot liquid spilling all over them both, drawing a surprised yelp out of the other person.

“Duuuuude” the one with chin length brown hair in a bandana draws out next to them, fist in front of his mouth.

Isak catches a glimpse of the same group of friends next to him and dreads looking up, certain whose face he will come upon. And sure enough not only did Isak just take money from this guy, because he couldn’t even afford a single cup of coffee, he also spilled it all over him.

If Isak was half asleep before, he’s wide awake now. Enough adrenaline coursing through his body to make his hands shake the slightest bit.

“I’m so so sorry.” he panics wide eyed, trying to grab for the napkin holder behind him, pushing napkin after napkin at the boy and ignoring his own burning chest. The boy remains frozen in place, probably put off at Isak’s all around sad state of being, simply accepting napkin after napkin not moving even to dab them at his shirt.

When Isak runs out of napkins, he hands the blonde boy the empty holder and pushes past him, mumbling his twentieth sorry.

“Nice first impression!” The one with a buzzcut belts out with his back to Isak who freezes as he reaches for the door. He’s not sure there’s anywhere on this planet that is far enough to run right now.

The last thing he hears as he makes it through the door is the laughter of a few of the guys surrounding the blonde.

“Woah, what happened to you?” Mahdi asks, eyes big, when Isak meets up with him at their usual spot before heading to their shared computer science class.

“Shit,” Isak mutters looking down at himself and zipping his jacket up, “spilled coffee.”

“Yeah, I can see that, but what’s with the deer in the headlights look?”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Isak waves off “ready to go?” he nods at the open books lying in front of Mahdi, always one to leave his homework and studying to the absolute last minute and still somehow pull off solid grades.

“Sure,” Mahdi says packing his things up. “You sure you okay, man? You keep looking over your shoulder like you’re expecting something to jump out at you.”

More like trying to avoid running into someone. Isak doesn’t even want to imagine what his reaction would be to running into the blonde or his friends again right now. Probably hope that the universe had his back just this once and the ground would open up underneath him?

Isak shakes his head, “just nervous about the test.”

“Since when are you nervous about tests? You’re the master of taking tests. Or so you keep saying.” Mahdi laughs walking next to Isak.

And it’s enough to take Isak’s mind off of the last thirty minutes of his life.

“That’s because I am,” he responds cockily.

“And there’s the Isak we all know and love. Ready to kick my ass with his grades.”

“You know, if you applied yourself…” Isak jokes.

“Okay thanks mom.” Mahdi lets out a laugh, slapping Isak on the back when they reach the lecture hall. “Good luck.”

“Luck has nothing to do with it.” Isak grins. Because for him it really doesn’t. He’s had to work for everything he has. He had to learn how to survive early, first at home and then in the world. And what he knows all too painfully well is that nothing is lasting and that everything handed to him could be taken away at any moment.

*

“You will not believe the day I’ve had” Eskid starts to complain from the living room before Isak can even fully step into the apartment.

“Remember what I was telling you about my new boss?” He continues, not waiting for any acknowledgement, while Isak takes off his jacket and shoes in their hallway.

“The one who had you stay late and miss your date?” Isak asks walking into the living room to join him.

“The same one. Well today he had the nerve to- Jesus! Nevermind my day, Isak, what happened to you?” Eskild looks startled when he glances up. And finally taking stock of the giant stain covering most of his front and his still tingling chest, Isak realizes he may have downplayed it quite a bit with Mahdi.

“Well, you know that blonde guy I told you about?” Isak drops down on the couch next to him, not even having to think twice about sharing with Eskild. Not after all that he had helped him through in life.

He had learned, during his time at Nissen still, that bottling everything up wasn’t working for him. It had left him always ready to jump into a fight at the slightest provocation back then. So when he was desperate for someone to confide in, he finally turned to Eskild. Sure he had Jonas, Mahdi, Magnus, and even Eva, but with Eskild it was different. He had an understanding of a part of Isak’s life that his friends never could.

“Yeah? What happened? Did he throw his - what is that, tea? Coffee? At you after you asked him out or something? That’s a hate crime you know.” Eskild starts to get worked up with each question, looking ready to go to war for him.

“No, chill, I was the one who spilled coffee over us both.” Isak starts miserably, rehashing the events from the morning.

“Jeez, I keep telling you to stop looking at your feet when you’re walking. Who would have thought it would bite you so royally.” Eskild says shaking his head.

“This isn’t really an ‘I told you so’ moment, Eskild.” Isak scowls.

Eskild gives him a pitying look, “okay, fine. Are you sure it was that bad though? Were they really laughing at you?”

“I heard them.” Isak mumbles through his hands covering his face. “God, I must have looked like such an idiot too.”

“So what’s the plan now? You were crushing on him pretty hard.” Eskild asks cautiously.

“To avoid him at all costs? To go through the rest of my university days never having to see him or any of them ever again? I dunno, I’ll just have to get over it.” Isak whines. But the problem is that even after all that, his heart still skips a beat at the thought of the blonde boy.

“Well maybe it’s for the best? I mean if their response was to be a bunch of dicks, then you maybe you’re better off not knowing them.” Eskild offers kindly.

“Probably.” Isak groans. He can’t really disagree with him. Now Isak just needs to find himself someone else to massively pine over. Maybe if he ends up desperate enough, he can ask Eskild to set him up. He had been trying to for ages anyways. Though that would probably include double dates with Eskild and his latest boyfriend, so maybe that isn’t the best option.

“Don’t you have a date tonight?” Isak asks when he notices the time.

“Yes, and I’m keeping him waiting until I know you’ll be alright.” Eskild says pointing to his phone.

It’s one of the many reasons why Eskild will always walk that fine line between being one of Isak’s closest friends and being a parental figure in his life. Because Eskild will always go out of his way to make sure Isak feels like he belongs, like he matters.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll be fine. Don’t miss out on my account.” It takes a little bit of additional reassuring on Isak’s part, but finally it’s just him alone in the apartment scrolling through his phone until he stops on one.

He glances at the five day old message from his mom. It had been a long day and he could really use a distraction. Maybe even one of her hugs. Finally making up his mind, he changes shirts and heads out the door in the direction of the tram station.

“Ugh it’s only Isak” his little sister calls behind her when Isak unlocks the front door with his own set of keys.

“Hi Isak,” his mom calls from the kitchen.

“Hey mamma,” he calls back, stepping out of his shoes.

“What are you doing here?” Lea asks.

“Feeling insecure because the favorite child is here?”

“You the favorite? Please, we’ve actually got standards in this house.”

“And yet here you are.”

“You’re literally the worst brother ever.” She grins, giving him a hug and he returns it just tight enough to draw a squeal out of her.

“Am I still the worst?” He laughs not letting go or loosening his grip.

“Yes!” She squeaks out.

“You suck.” Lea complains when he finally releases her.

“Don’t talk to your brother like that,” their mother smiles pulling him into a hug. “We’ve missed you.”

 _Told you_ he mouths to Lea, who pulls a face at him over his mother’s shoulder.

“Missed you too mamma.” He says before reluctantly pulling back, finding just the slightest bit of comfort in her touch.

“Are you going to stay for dinner?” She asks keeping a hand on his back “I haven’t seen you in a while, it would be nice to catch up.”

“Sure, I’ve got some time.” He nods following them into the kitchen.

“We were just about to eat.” She grabs a plate out of the cupboard and places it on the table for him.

“So are you dropping out yet? Moving back home to sleep on the couch?” Lea asks once they’ve settled into their meal.

“I was actually thinking of taking your room and kicking you to the couch. Being the older sibling and everything.” Isak says taking another bite out of the still warm bun.

After the divorce, their mother had decided to move homes to have a clean start after finally getting Lea back into her custody. But at the time she could barely afford two bedrooms, which Isak had convinced her was more than enough for her and Lea. Reassuring her that she didn’t need to worry about keeping a room free for him. It took some time to get her on board for that last part. She had even asked him if he wanted to move back a couple of times and each time he skirted the question until finally she stopped asking.

It wasn’t that Isak didn’t want to have a close relationship with them, but their family wasn’t the same anymore, neither was he. And the thought of moving back home, even if the situation was much healthier than before, seemed like he was taking a step back for him instead of forward.

“Isak’s not dropping out. And neither will you when you get to university.” Their mother’s tone kind but with a finality directed at his sister.

While Isak had coped with their family problems by throwing himself into his school work, his sister had gone the opposite way, finding herself completely disinterested in anything related to her education. Opting to skip classes to read in the library or in the park. When their parents found out it resulted in an argument between Lea and their mother. Meanwhile their father barely took the time to string together two sentences on the subject.

“Hey you never know, he could meet some rich middle aged man who’s offering to show him the world.” Lea laughs referring to the one and only time Isak had given Grindr a chance after coming out to his family. An experience which his poor and now confused mother didn’t know anything about.

“Do I want to know?” She asks looking to Isak.

“Lea is just wishing she had middle aged men propositioning her.” Isak smirks.

“How about we stick to dating within our own age groups.” Their mother says, pausing a moment. “Although since we’re on the topic, I think I want to start dating again.” she adds nervously, looking at both her children.

“I think that’s a great idea.” Isak agrees immediately. But Lea is the slightest bit more hesitant before agreeing. Just enough for Isak to notice.

“You’re both really fine with it?” she asks still looking unsure and Isak has to admire her strength to take charge of her life.

“Of course,” Lea chimes in, smiling bright at her.

“Don’t you think it’s weird though?” Lea asks after their mother leaves for her monthly book club meeting, reminding Isak to take the week’s worth of food she had packed for him. A relief in his case since his cupboard and shelf in the fridge have been completely empty since yesterday and he still hasn’t heard a word from his dad.

“Why? Pappa remarried and you didn’t say anything then.” Isak asks confused.

“But that’s different, he’s not really around and I don’t see her as a stepmom, she’s just his wife. With mamma, it would be like someone else stepping in, trying to parent or whatever.” she shrugs.

Isak thinks on that for a moment, “I don’t think mamma would ever bring someone into our family if we weren’t comfortable with him.”

“Isn’t it too soon though?” Lea grimaces.

“Lea, it’s been years. I think it’s time that she moves on and lives her life too. I really do believe we should support her.” 

“Yeah, I guess.” Lea relents before brightening, her mind elsewhere already. “Do you have a few minutes still? I wanna show you something on my laptop.”

“If it’s anything to do with kpop or fanfiction, or any combination of the two, I’m going to have to bow out. I had my fill last time.” Isak groans.

“I have interests outside of both of those,” she defends.

“Do you though, Lea? Do you?” He asks crossing his arms.

“You dick, I don’t remember you complaining when you hit replay on two of their music videos,” she shoots back.

“Fine, you’ve got fifteen minutes and then I have to head back.”

“Hot date?” She asks skeptically.

“Try two midterms and three lab reports.”

“Gross.”

“Yeah, I thought so too.”

Isak makes it through his week and a half of midterms just fine, he is the master of midterms after all. But all he can think about on his way home is sleeping the rest of his day away. And after declining any invitations from the guys to hang out tonight, he’s ready to make good on his own plans.

What he wasn’t expecting to find, however, is the group of girls happily chatting away in the living room.

“I think we should throw a party tonight to celebrate our last midterm.” He hears Eva call out over the noise when he closes the door behind him.

“A last minute party?” Vilde asks skeptically “no one’s going to show on such short notice.”

“Isak!” Eva calls when he tries to walk by unnoticed. “You can get the boys together if we decide to throw a party tonight, right?”

“You have their numbers don’t you? Why don’t you just text them and find out.” Isak says eyeing his bedroom door longingly.

“Don’t be an ass,” she rolls her eyes “you’ve got your group chat, it’s way more efficient for you to send out one text. Plus they go anywhere you go.”

“No,” Isak says, “they go anyplace where they have a chance to hook up.”

“Magnus isn’t like that, though.” Vilde smiles brightly.

“No, you’re right, he isn’t” Isak lets out.

“Oh I didn’t even tell you the super romantic thing he did for me last weekend,” she gushes.

“Okay, fine,” Isak interrupts with a sigh, “if I text them can this conversation be over?”

“Yes grumpus, enjoy whatever you do in the depths of your room.” Eva returns and Isak gives her a half-hearted thumbs up before heading down the hall.

“Sana will be here soon.” Vilde says looking up from her phone.

“We’ll have it at your place, right?” Noora asks turning to Eva.

“My mom’s in town right now so why don’t we have it here instead?” Eva asks.

At that Isak perks right up and backtracks straight into the living room “considering you don’t live here, how about you guys don’t?” He proposes.

“Well I do,” Noora says.

“Part-time,” Isak argues “that shouldn’t give you decision making rights.” Linn had taken the semester off and decided to go home to spend some time with her family, which left her room empty for the duration. And after her latest break up with William, Noora had been more than happy to move in.

It’s not that Isak minds having her around. He actually likes her, but he only has one priority in mind.

“That’s rude, Isak. I still live here. And you know that Eskild will back me up when he gets home.”

“Look, I’m sorry Noora, I’m not trying to be a dick here, but I just really need to get some sleep and you girls throwing a party isn’t going to help me.”

“How about we go to my place and let you sleep for now and you let us throw the party later tonight?” Eva chimes in.

“Fine.” Isak groans, knowing all too well that it will happen no matter what he says. Eskild is rarely one to turn down partying with the girls. But at least he’s going to get a few quiet hours out of it in the meantime.

After getting his agreement, the girls are quick to pack up their belongings.

He’s already at his bedroom door when Eva calls from the front door “you’ll text the boys, right?”

“Yes,” he lets out annoyed, shutting his bedroom door.

Isak nearly groans out loud at the sight of his bed and after shooting off a quick text, he drops face down on it, not bothering to take his clothes off. He barely takes two more breaths before unconsciousness takes him under completely.

When Isak wakes, it’s to the not so muffled sound of what he’s certain is Britney Spears. Which means Eskild is home. Which also means the party the girls planned is in full swing.

Sighing, he reaches for his phone, which is at only fifteen percent battery since he hadn’t bothered plugging it in. He scrolls through the messages his friends had sent while he was asleep. First agreeing to show up at the party and later messaging him to ask where he was.

Isak places the phone on his night stand, plugging it in. He throws on a fresh shirt that’s not wrinkled and follows the sound of the music.

“Isaaaaaak!” Magnus shouts out from where he is sitting with Jonas and Mahdi the moment Isak sets foot into the living room. He’s about to go join them when a pair of arms sloppily wrap themselves around him.

“Isak! You came out!” Eva shouts in his ear. Reeling back and resolving into giggles when she realizes her wording. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” she continues with her attempt to stand without Isak’s help, albeit unsuccessfully.

“Yes, that was pretty funny.” He rolls his eyes, patting her on the back.

“Hey Noora!” He calls out getting the blonde’s attention. “Take her, will you?” He drapes Eva over her as soon as she’s close enough.

“Oh my god Noora, I just said the funniest thing,” Eva lets out, still in a giggling fit as she burrows even closer into Noora.

“You got her?” Isak checks.

“Yeah we’re fine.” Noora nods, still staring down at an overly affectionate Eva.

Satisfied that his friend is in good hands, he stops by the kitchen to grab a beer and heads over to the couch where his friends are sitting.

“Hey,” he nods taking a seat on the armrest of the couch.

“Hey! He lives!” Mahdi shouts raising his beer in salute.

“Yo,” Jonas gives in acknowledgement from his seat next to him.

“What’s going on?” Isak asks taking a look around the room. Minus the girl and boy squads plus Eskild, he doesn’t recognize the rest. “Who are all of these people?”

“They’re from Vilde’s theatre group apparently.” Jonas answers.

“Hmm”

“That was pretty much our reaction.”

“Well, now that you’re finally here, let’s go to the rooftop.” Mahdi says standing up and the guys follow his lead. They’ve been getting high up there for the past few years, not able to do so right at the party and considering their apartment only has the one bathroom, it’s not an option.

“Guys, I need your help, I think I might be flunking out.” Magnus groans in frustration when they settle into the abandoned lawn chairs, the joint having made its rounds once.

“Already?” Isak asks incredulously, “It’s only halfway through the first semester of our first year.”

Magnus takes a deep “You don’t get it, all these theatre and film courses are kicking my ass. Isak, you’ve helped me before, can’t you do it again just this once?”

Isak blows out a stream of smoke into the cool night air, “Magnus, while I normally wouldn’t mind helping you, we’re not even taking a single course together.”

“Yeah, that’s your own fault for wanting to have as many classes with Vilde as possible.” Jonas scoffs.

“Just get a tutor,” Isak offers.

“Where am I supposed to get one of those?”

Mahdi shrugs, “just go to student services and ask, I’m sure they’ll set you up.”

“Fine,” Magnus sighs reaching for the joint in Isak’s hand.

“Rude,” Isak exclaims pulling back, “wait your turn.”

In the end Isak finds himself enjoying the night despite his earlier reservations. After coming down from the rooftop he even ends up dancing with Eva for a while when she gets her second wind.

And when Eva can barely stand anymore, and he ends up sitting sitting on his living room couch sandwiched between her messy drunk self and a sweaty, fresh off the dance floor Eskild, he still finds himself feeling content. Because sometimes things do work out in his favor and the things handed to him are his to keep.

*

Isak is still sitting in the library late into the night, a habit at this point, trying to get caught up on his neverending assignments, cursing Sana who was too busy to help him out. Since when did some guy come before their partnership? They were study buddies, that should count for something.

Although, if he were to ever find himself a boyfriend he’s not sure he wouldn’t pull the same thing. A topic he definitely should not be focusing on right now.

When he finally does get back on track, a shadow enveloping his work area pulls him right out of the zone. Probably someone telling him to turn down his music, he thinks as he pulls his headphones off and looks to the person next to him. Only to be floored when he realizes it is the pretty blonde from a month ago. The one he had spilled his coffee all over. The same coffee he had partially paid for.

“H-hi” Isak manages, caught off guard.

“Hey, I’m Even” the blonde smiles kindly.

“Isak”

“Nice to meet you, Isak,” he continues, the smile still playing on his lips “I’m having a showing for my first short film fully written and directed by me and I was wondering if you wanted to come see it?” Why is he talking to him now, he wonders. Does he maybe not remember Isak?

He must have forgotten. That’s the only possible explanation Isak can think of. Maybe even burning the guy’s chest didn’t make Isak memorable enough.

“I’m not sure…” Isak trails off “I have a lot to get done still” he nods to his open textbook and the mess of papers that lay in front of him. Why is he even here inviting him in the first place? Is he mixing up Isak with someone else?

“I haven’t told you when it is yet.” Even teases, eyes crinkling at the corners, catching the light in just the right way.

“Oh sure, when is it?” Isak asks, because why not? He’s finally speaking to his crush who either doesn’t seem to remember their last run in or is too polite to bring it up. And if it is the latter, then isn’t it a good thing that he is still willingly talking to Isak?

“Next Saturday at 20:00. It would be really great if you did come.” If Isak isn’t mistaken, he almost looks hopeful.

“I guess I can try to make it.” Isak nods still unsure why he would extend the invitation to him. Maybe he’s struggling to fill seats. But right now Isak isn’t one to question it. The universe was finally looking out for him, so who was he to say otherwise?

“That’s fantastic” Even immediately brightens and Isak forgets all of his previous apprehension at going.

“Well I’ll see you around then.” He winks at Isak and walks off. Isak’s not sure what happened or why he was invited, but he’s certain he won’t forget to show.

The rest of the week passes by almost too quickly, with Isak growing more and more anxious about going to the blonde’s- no, Even’s, screening.

Despite his best attempts to remain calm, the nervous giddiness stays with him all throughout the tram ride to the university all the way until he finds a seat amongst the small crowd. And until the lights dim and the film starts to play. But as the minutes go on and the opening scene unfolds, that feeling turns leaden and sinks to the bottom of his stomach.

He watches with interest at first as the two blonde boys stand in line, one in front of the other, in a small coffee shop. Until the one behind reaches past the boy in front to drop some change on the counter. Until the smaller boy turns and spills his drink over the both of them. Until the sound of laughter fills the small auditorium.

Word for word, the opening scene was an exact replica of that moment. It could be a coincidence, but Isak knows it wasn’t. Even though the entire film was only fifteen minutes in length, he stops paying attention right after that scene. It doesn’t even matter what the rest is about. Not like he can pay it any attention at this point with his heart beating so hard, he’s certain it will break through his ribcage. It’s so loud he can’t even hear the rest of the words being uttered on the screen.

The only thing that matters is getting out of the auditorium right now. All he can do is replay the moment over again this time with the actors Even used, not even that helps him distance himself from the situation. Here he is secretly pining for a guy who will only ever see him as the comic relief for one of his films. Written and directed by him. Just how many times had he sat there laughing at Isak?

Angry and hurt he pushes his way through the crowd trying to avoid drawing any attention to himself. When Even had invited him he thought that...he’s not sure what he thought, maybe that the cute boy noticed him and not for the mess that he was, just him. But never in a million years did he think anyone would do something like this to him.

He’s almost home free when Even stops him, that stupid smile on his face again. Only faltering momentarily as he sees Isak’s expression before it’s right back in place. Almost like he is happy to see Isak.

“Isak, I’m so glad you came, I wasn’t sure you remembered.” Even says nervously. Probably because he isn’t sure how Isak will react.

Oh he remembered alright. Now he can finally see the reason he wanted Isak here. Why he was so insistent.

“So what did you think?” Even asks, eyebrows high. Isak can’t figure out for the life of him why he would try to drag this out. Why torture Isak further?

There’s a part of Isak that wants to confront him, ask him why he would take one of Isak’s most embarrassing moments and put it on film. And why invite him to watch. Was he really that annoyed with Isak that day? But Isak doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

So he grasps for the only critique he can, having heard his little sister talk about coffee shop tropes in fanfiction way more than any teenage boy should have to be forced to listen to.

“Don’t you think the coffee shop trope is a bit overused at this point?” He asks attempting to look more unimpressed than upset over the fact that the boy he’s been crushing on thinks of him as a joke.

“Well technically most tropes are overused” Even muses.

“It just didn’t seem very original. Bit of a cliche, really” Isak shrugs plastering a smile on his face, not really sure what he’s talking about at this point. All he has to do is prove that his little stunt had no effect on him.

If Isak didn’t know any better, he’d say that Even looks hurt. But he does know better. Especially after sitting through that opening.

“I guess I wasn’t going for originality,” Even pauses, glancing down momentarily. “I was going for...something else.”

Isak’s not sure what it is, maybe it’s Even standing in front of him pretending to be so sincere, giving Isak a glimpse of the guy he thought he was. Or maybe it’s the overwhelming urge to end this conversation, run out of the building and to get away from the crowd.

“Well you definitely weren’t going for good.” Isak finally snaps and steps past Even and out the doors in a few quick strides.

He wishes he could say he was still fuming on the tram ride home. But really that’s just not the case. If he does feel any anger at this point, it’s nothing compared to the hurt he feels. What could possibly have led him to hate Isak that much? It had been an accident. He’s so lost in thought that he almost misses his stop, recognizing the the street he’s on at the last minute and bolting through the doors before they close again.

“You’re home early” Eskild calls from the kitchen, surprised “come here I finally bought a new coffee maker. Now you don’t have to sulk and run circles around the broken one.”

When Isak doesn’t acknowledge him, Eskild steps into their hallway, looking concerned.

“Isak? Is everything alright?” He asks when Isak remains silent, still leaning against their front door.

Isak lowers his eyes and shakes his head, taking a deep breath “don’t worry about it.”

“Well now I am worried about it.”

“Honestly Eskild, it’s nothing.” Isak steels his voice in an attempt to keep Eskild from pushing further.

The last thing he wants is to rehash everything. Right now he just wants to forget tonight ever happened. He doubts that will happen anytime soon. This level of humiliation is already bound to keep him awake and cause him many sleepless nights. The gift that keeps on giving. He should really send him a thank-you card.

“You were saying something about a new coffee maker?” Isak asks, switching the attention back to his roommate.

“Yes! Come on,” Eskild says placing his hands on Isak’s shoulders and guides him into the kitchen.

“Wow it’s a normal coffee maker.” Isak deadpans looking at the clean machine.

“Yes! But this one works!”

“That’s great.” Isak sighs, all energy leaving him, “but I’m gonna go ahead and call it a night.”

“You sure nothing’s wrong?” Eskild calls after him.

“I’m sure,” Isak mumbles closing his bedroom door behind him.

It’s not until he enters his room and closes his door safely behind him and is lying face down on his bed that he lets all of the hurt wash over him.

Eventually the hurt melts away to make room for anger. Anger that he hasn’t felt in years. Angry because he’s hurting. Angry because someone could be so cruel to him. Angry because the boy he liked turned out to be nothing like he imagined. Angry because he thought the invitation could have meant something. Angry because the fantasy he’s carried around for months is gone. Angry because fuck Even.

Angry, because just like everything else that was handed to him, in this case a simple fantasy about a boy, it’s taken away. Hadn’t he learned by now? He doesn’t get to take the easy route in life, it just isn’t in his cards.

But he doesn’t just want to be is the boy who spends all his time reading about alternate universes, fantasizing about alternate Isaks and the lives they could be leading. And how much happier those versions are, how much more fulfilled. He wants to have a chance to be one of those versions.

Life had taught him that’s not the case, not to rely on what’s given to him today. Because he has no reassurance it’ll be there tomorrow. And when he looks at his phone, he knows it to be true.

Pappa

Hi Isak, I received your messages  
And I thought about it a lot  
But now that you’re in University  
I think you should look into getting a job  
It will be a valuable experience for you


End file.
